


the reasons why i can't find love

by flawless_pizza



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 09:48:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12861978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawless_pizza/pseuds/flawless_pizza
Summary: Love (noun): a strong feeling of affection.Meet these three: Akaashi, the aloof. Kuroo, the heartbreaker. Oikawa, the romantic. All in their own ways, wishing for their own happy endings. Whether they get them is a whole different story, though.orWhere these hopelessly in love dorks live under the same roof through heartbreak and friendship.





	1. reason one: prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based off of Japanese drama series, The Reason I Can't Find My Love. There are some changes, but for the most part, the plot is similar.

_Love (noun): a strong feeling of affection._

_For me, the one word that’s the starting point, and is the ending point. It can be taken in so many ways, but really, only means one thing. People may interpret love as happiness, but it’s also the cause of many of the unhappiness existing. And it also comes with fear and tears, or it can come with smiles then regret._

_The strongest feeling that can ever exist._

 

 

 

 

“We will go over the schedule for the show tomorrow, please do not be late. Keep in mind that the concert is in a week. Dismissed,” the production team chief calls out, and chairs scrape against the tile floor as everyone stands up.

Akaashi stands up, swiftly grabbing his binder and laptop in one motion, calmly placing it into his satchel. He swings it over his shoulder, standing up to leave.

“Hey Akaashi, can I ask for a favor?”

“Yes, Sawamura-san?”

“How many times do I have to tell you, Daichi is fine,” Daichi laughs slightly, “I need you to bring the project binder from here to the venue in the morning, if that’s okay with you. There’s been minor errors with the event planning company and the venue provider, so I’ll be taking care of that in the morning. Usually I wouldn’t ask you to do this, but we need the binder tomorrow and I don’t think I’ll have time to take care of it now, I need to head home because my husband–”

“It’s fine, Sawamura-san. I’ll deliver it to the venue before noon.”

“Thanks, Akaashi. I knew I could count on you.”

Akaashi bows to him and waits for him to leave before leaving the conference room himself, absentmindedly wondering what he’ll have for dinner, and feeling a bit jealous that Daichi had someone to go back to. Probably with dinner ready for him.

He’s not fully sure why he ended up like this, considering that his grades in high school were the top in his year, and he had gone to one of the elite universities in Japan. Yet, somehow, he was working at a small lighting company, instead of pursuing the one dream he had to be an author.

Another night alone in a small apartment, he figures.

Just after the thought, his phone rings with the obnoxious default tune he never bothered to change. He’s snapped out of his train of thoughts in the dim-lit glass hallway. He looks at the caller, to see a familiar and nostalgic name pop up on the screen. _Kuroo Tetsurou?_ The name fills him up with memories of the whistles of the referee, the squeaking of sneakers against the gym floor, and a certain loud and overly cheerful voice yelling for a toss.

He shakes the thoughts away.

Akaashi answers with a bit of reluctance (he was never good with communication anyway, and he hasn’t heard from Kuroo-san in a long time), “Hello?”

“Heyyy Akaashi, how’ve you been?” the smooth words rolls off the other’s tongue, and Akaashi could sense the mischievous smirk through the phone. How typical.

“I’m alright, thank you for asking,” Akaashi answers, pressing the down button for the elevator. “Kuroo-san, what have you been up to? It has to be something if you called me.”

“Akaaashi, there’s no reason to be so formalll. We’ve been friends since high school, quit it with the formalities already,” Kuroo laughs, glasses clinking in the background, “Also, I’m not up to much, really. But it’d be great if you can meet me at the bar we went for college graduation.”

“You’re basically telling me to go there.”

“Basically.”

He sighs, getting onto the elevator. “Alright, I’ll be there in ten.”

When he arrives, he finds Kuroo sitting at one of the bar stools, sloshing around his glass of…wine? Bloody mary? Akaashi couldn’t really tell. He drops his satchel onto the table, orders a coffee, and sits down next to Kuroo. He waits a moment before asking, “So, are you going to explain yet?”

Kuroo flashes his signature smirk. “I see you’ve seen me through,” he leans forward, “but before that, how’s Bokuto?”

Akaashi shifts uncomfortably. “Kuroo-san. You know he’s in the United States as of now. I don’t know, I haven’t kept in touch with him.”

“Ugh. Boring. You were basically inseparable through high school, I can’t believe you haven’t talked to him at all. I was hoping you’d know something about him,” Kuroo slumps in his seat, but grins– a bit nostalgic and sad, “guessing he’s as loud and annoying as ever.”

Akaashi once again shifts uncomfortably. “I guess so, Kuroo-san,” he coughs, “What about you? Are you still up to your bad habits?”

“Bad habits? As in, kissing strangers and hookups in bathroom stalls?”

“Yes, _bad_ habits, Kuroo-san. Maybe it’s time you get a proper job…” Akaashi couldn’t stop himself from worrying; he knew most of what was going on, although only vaguely from Kuroo’s drunken texts and slurs.

Kuroo waves him off dismissively, “A male host club _is_ a proper job. And it pays enough to pay for rent and to send some to my mother.”

“Who you still haven’t to–”

“ _Anyways_ Akaashi, it’s come to my attention that all our friends during high school are either in a relationship or marriage–” Kuroo cuts him off abruptly.

Akaashi groans. “I swear, Tetsurou.”

“–and both of us are depressingly single,” Kuroo ends, sloshing his drink once more.

Akaashi sighs visibly. “Are you suggesting we go to a club and get our asses drunk? Because hell, I might even agree if it means I can get rid of you.”

“Tempting, but no.”

“Come on, Tetsurou, out with it.”

“You’ll call me crazy, but I swear it’s a great idea.”

“Tetsurou, I am about to rip your face off your head.”

“ _Okay_! Jesus, I’ll tell you.”

“ _So_?”

Kuroo’s eyes glint dangerously, “ _We should live together._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, first chapter. it's short because it's the prologue to kinda just give an idea of the story. i'll be posting a second chapter REALLY soon!!
> 
> please tell me how it was! i'm always up for suggestions and constructive criticism :)
> 
>  
> 
> once again, this is based off of the drama series of the same name. it's a series i recently rewatched and felt like i could use it as a prompt. it's not completely following the plot, just the prompt.


	2. reason two: third party

_Beginning (noun): the point in time or space at which something starts._

_Everything has a beginning. All journeys, friendships, lives. Some have endings. Some things were just not meant to be._

 

 

 

“I’m sorry, what?” Akaashi looks at Kuroo incredulously, unbelieving, “who would want to room with you?”

“It’s a good idea isn’t it? We’re single. We’re sad. And the rent is half if we split! Good idea, right?”

“It’s not a bad idea, Kuroo-san, but let’s get something straight here–”

“Sorry, that’s impossible,” Kuroo smirks knowingly (and annoyingly, Akaashi might add).

“Shut up, Kuroo-san. I _meant_ , where would we even find a house that big? That’s close to my office, your club, _and_ your university? And cheap. We might as well be living behind a dumpster.”

“Akaashi, oh my god. It was an idea, and plus, we’ll figure it out, right?” Kuroo pauses, “or you will, at least,” he adds as an afterthought.

“We’ll see–”

“AKAASHI, I JUST HAD ANOTHER IDEA. We should have a third person because with us two you’ll constantly be trying to stab me half to death with a fork and then burn me alive with your eyes. To keep the peace? You know?”

“That’s it. I’m going home.”

“Byeee Akaaashiii!!” Kuroo enthusiastically screams. He settles down in his seat in the empty bar, his energetic facade slowly peeling away. “Another glass, please…” He looks up to see the name tag, then into the other’s brown eyes. “…Yuuji.”

 

 

 

Akaashi gets a flat white from the coffee shop near his apartment on the way home, hopefully to cure the headache and the heavy feeling in his stomach. He’s once seen somewhere that coffee was mostly likely to do the opposite of healing, and in his case alcohol would have worked better, but he liked to tell himself he was now a responsible adult definitely _not_ pining over a high school ex boyfriend.

He does an awkward half-jog half-walk up the stairs to his cheap apartment on the second floor, uninviting and no source of life in the house whatsoever. He might maybe eat leftovers from yesterday and– oh great, he’s out of food. Akaashi sighs, downing the rest of his caffeine before he collapses in his bed.

 

 

 

Yuuji slams the door sign to closed as Kuroo pushes against him, his lips melding with the other’s.

It’s desperate and he knows he shouldn’t, but he craves for intimacy even just for a moment. It calms him and lets him take his mind off of things. A mind reliever of sorts. And really, wasn’t this who he was? A heartbreaker, a player, that hot one night stand? No strings attached, friend with benefits, player adonis, and more he’s been called throughout his college years. Hell, he was twenty four, he should really be getting his shit together. He graduated two years ago but his first company didn’t work out and so didn’t the second, so here he was, again with a stranger, still in university for his master’s degree.

He shoves Yuuji into the break room for employees; he could feel the ice cold piercing on the other's tongue. He pushes him onto the sofa, tugging on his shirt to take it off.

“Desperate, are we?” Yuuji says, his pupils dilated. He runs his tongue over his lips, smirking.

“You have no idea,” Kuroo answers.

 

 

 

Akaashi arrives at the venue at eight o’clock sharp in the morning, with all the needed files and the binder– oh crap, the binder. Of course he’d forget the binder. He curses, texts Yamaguchi that he’ll miss morning meeting at the venue, as rushes off in a sprint for a taxi. He hurries back to the office to retrieve the binder, hastily skimming through the shelves. He pulls the heavy binder labeled “Shimizu Kiyoko Concert” out, stuffing it into his satchel. Before he can turn and leave, several framed photos catch his eye– a photo of Daichi and a silver haired man on their wedding day, both beaming, an another of a volleyball team, and the last, of Daichi and…Kuroo? Akaashi moves closer to confirm, and _yes_ it’s Kuroo. As far as he knows, they don’t know each other, and he hasn’t heard either one of them mention the other, ever. In the photo, they both seem young, grinning at the camera with the Tokyo station in the background. Daichi’s smile could be compared to the one in the first photo.

He shakes off the odd feeling and hurriedly exits the building, reminding himself to ask Kuroo about it later.

 

 

 

Slipping on his clothes and shoes, Kuroo makes his way towards the back door without making a sound. As a second thought, he leaves his number on a notepad by the coffee maker.

When Kuroo goes to buy a coffee, there’s a slip of paper inside his wallet. He enters the number in his phone and deletes it right after, but keeps the slip.

 

 

 

 

The meeting goes smoothly, with Daichi being on top of all things and leading the conversation with Tsukishima Kei, who was Shimizu Kiyoko’s manager, the venue provider, and the representative from the event planning company, Shirofuku Yukie. Daichi had apparently managed to sort out all confusion in one night, and had also succeeded in convincing the venue provider to allow extra effects and advanced lighting. Which was great for Akaashi because he couldn’t focus anyway, his mind still focused on that one photo. He was itching to ask Daichi, but the latter was constantly busy throughout the day, being the head of the their small company.

He grumbles and decides to ask Kuroo about it instead, _Drinks. Today._ After a while, he decides to add, _You’re not allowed to decline, you forced me yesterday._

“Excuse me, Akaashi-san, do you have a minute?”

“Oh hello, Tsukishima-san. Is there something you need?”

“I was wondering if you could sketch me an idea of the light placements…”

 

 

 

 

Oikawa stretches in his seat by the window, finishing up the last of his order request to the factory. The project was by one of the main buyers of the company, and this time (thanks to the popular division manager, Semi Eita) his division was required to take care of the transaction and the mass order. His company was huge, after all, with several departments and several divisions in each– he just so happened to be in the marketing department, the third division, which happened to have Semi Eita as the division manager.

Semi Eita: twenty five, young, successful, good looking, intelligent, kind, diligent, humorous; the list went on. He looks at the perfectly dyed hair and the professional but classy vibe he gave off, and the crowd of girls forming around him at the printer (not that he glanced at them, even a bit). He was known throughout the whole company as the hard working young man, trustworthy and a good leader. Therefore, his division was well-known and (this year especially) was tasked with seemingly difficult projects and clients. Ushijima, the head of the department, seemed to be pleased with the amount of work getting done by the department, letting them have more freedom within the company.

Oikawa couldn’t say he couldn’t compete with Semi though; he was one of the section managers in their division at age twenty four, and he had plenty of girls milling around him at times. But he couldn’t say he _could_ either, because he himself was obsessed with the division manager.

He runs out of the office building to get some food in his stomach before he needed to work again, and runs into a certain overly-familiar cheshire cat grin.

“Hey,” its smile (smirk?) widens, “it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Guess I can’t avoid you for my whole life,” Oikawa mumbles under his breath, “Kuroo.”

 

 

 

 

After being dismissed from work, Akaashi checks his phone to find a message from Kuroo telling him to meet at another bar. He texts back, _a different place this time?_ , already being able to predict the story. Kuroo replies with a harmless _Shut up_ , along with an angry cat emoticon.

He walks through the door with the bell, and immediately someone shouts, “Hey Akaashi! Over here!”

He self-consciously saunters over to the booth, aware of the pairs of eyes staring at them. “Kuroo-san! Stop being so obnoxious!” he notices a familiar good-looking brunette seated in the booth opposite to Kuroo, but he can’t exactly remember where and when he saw him. Somewhere deep in his past, or someone he briefly saw at a store, maybe?

“This,” Kuroo starts, “is Oikawa Tooru.”

Oh, shit. So that’s who he was.

“Um, hi. It’s been a while,” he’s tempted to spit out some vile directed towards the poor former Aoba Johsai captain, but refrains from doing so. He switches his gaze to Kuroo with narrowed eyes, “Why is he here?”

Kuroo gestures for him to sit down (Akaashi begrudgingly obeys) and excitedly whispers in a hushed tone, “He’s our third roommate.”

“The hell?!” Akaashi screams, standing up once again. He sits back down, a blush creeping up his neck. “I mean, what do you mean? Him? Mr. Arrogant Prince? The Great King? What?”

“Hey, it wasn’t my idea,” Oikawa defends, “it was Tetsurou’s. He just dragged me here, I don’t know what’s going on.”

“You retards,” Kuroo sighs dramatically, putting the back of hand to his forehead, “High school is in the past. Come on, get over your stupid grudges and we can be friends! Together!!”

“Yeah, so we should act like strangers, Tetsu-chan,” Oikawa says, obviously annoyed, being the brat that he is. “I’m pretty sure I’d get along with Kei-chan more than with you. I wouldn’t mind rooming with him, but you, I don't even have to think to refuse.”

“If you guys will bond over your hatred of me, I’ll gladly take one for the team.”

Akaashi shrugs.

“So? Yes? _Yes_? YES? It’s a yes, right? WHOO MY PLAN HAS SUCCEEDED!!”

Akaashi forcefully pulls him down, awkwardly looking away. “Whatever,” he sips on his drink, coughing on it a second later. “What the–? Kuroo-san, what did you order for me?”

Kuroo puts his hands up. “No, I swear it was Oikawa.”

“Oikawa-san–”

“It was definitely Kuro-chan, I wouldn’t have that bad of a taste in drinks!”

“What is this anyway? Oh my god don’t tell me you ordered–”

Kuroo guiltily winces. “Tomato Martini.”

“–Tomato Martini. That’s it, I’m done, if I’m going to get this everyday I am out of this deal, I refuse to live with tomato lovers.”

“Hey hey, I’ll trade with you! Mine is a normal Pinã Colada…”

“Freaking hate tomatoes.” Akaashi mumbles, taking the cocktail from Kuroo.

Oikawa smiles smugly, twirling the ice around in his drink, “Losers with cocktails. Mine is Long Island Iced Tea. No alcohol for me on a work night, I’m responsible.”

Kuroo bursts into laughter. “That was a good joke, Great King.”

“Wha– Why are you laughing? Huh? Tell me now!”

Kuroo bursts into another fit of laughter, “Oh my god, that wasn’t a joke? I can’t, Akaashi, explain to him, oh my god this is too much for me to take–” he starts wheezing in the corner of the booth.

“Oikawa-san, Long Island Iced Tea is a type of cocktail.”

Oikawa looks horrified, his mouth shaped in an o-form and his eyes blown wide like he's just committed a crime. He drinks from the cup, unbelieving, “Holy crap. You’re right. Oh, that is _strong_.”

Kuroo wipes away tears from his eyes. “I really can’t believe you. I thought you were some experienced drinker and here you are, not even knowing what Long Island Iced Tea is. Don’t tell me, you also can’t hold your alcohol.”

“So what if I can’t?” Oikawa glares menacingly (or the best he can) at Kuroo.

Cue laughter. “Oh god, Hanger Tooru, you keep me guessing every time.”

Oikawa launches himself half over the table at Kuroo, while yelling a string of curses and obscenities for calling him ‘the ridiculous nickname in my dark past’, and Akaashi could tell this roommate thing was either going to go greatly or terribly. They were getting along pretty well already, as if they didn’t just see each other after years of no contact at all. He enjoyed being in the comfortable, friendly atmosphere, which was very unlike the quiet, solitary air that always surrounded him. He definitely wasn’t a people-person, and wasn’t planning on becoming one, but maybe this was a good opportunity for him…

“Oh, right. I completely forgot to ask. Today I saw this picture of you and Daichi-san at Tokyo station? I didn’t know you two were friends.”

“Hmm? Daichi?”

“Ooh, the hottie Karasuno captain?" Oikawa intervenes, glancing at Kuroo. “So? What were you guys doing there? _Together_?”

“What do you mean?”

Oikawa rolls his eyes. “What do you think I mean. Jesus, were you always this dense?”

"Please, Kuroo-san, even Oikawa-san has enough brains to figure this out," Akaashi adds in mockingly.

"Hey! Kei-chan, I'm not that stupid."

"You two looked so happy, it could be compared to his smile when his team won nationals."

"Oh my, Kuro-chan, how scandalous! An affair?  _Were you in a relationship behind our backs_?"

"Kuroo-san, spill."

"We trusted you! It was an agreement between all Miyagi volleyball players that Sawamura-kun was off-limits! To think someone from Tokyo would snag him..." Oikawa shakes his head, "What a shame."

"Even worse that it's Kuroo-san."

" _What_ a shame. He deserves much better."

"Guys! Who are you talking about?" Kuroo asks, confusion evident on his face. “Daichi? Sawamura? Who?”

"Stop lying Kuroo-san, we know your secrets. Roommates should tell each other everything."

"I wasn't lying."

"Kuro-chan! No fair! You just want to keep the captain all to yourself."

Kuroo sighs. "I don't know who you're talking about."

"Kuroo-san, please  _tell_ us already."

"Kuro-chan, tell us! We're dying to know!"

"But I wasn't lying. I don't know any Sawamura Daichi's."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup yuuji is the legendary terushima yuuji from johzenji
> 
> this is still the very very beginning. this is probably going to be a slow build, so if you don't want to wait that long, you probably shouldn't stay here. it's also going to get really really dramatic.  
> (there's also a hell ton of things that aren't revealed yet, obviously. a lot of history will be in future chapters)
> 
> this wasn't beta read. if someone's up to beta reading my works in the future, please contact me!!
> 
> please leave feedback and cry with me on tumblr if you want @xxflawlesspizzaxx


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